


All of Time and a Space-Stone

by neitherbluenorgreen



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Crossover, Sillyness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-11-01 23:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20540420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neitherbluenorgreen/pseuds/neitherbluenorgreen
Summary: After snatching the Tesseract, Loki uses it to open a portal, but something goes wrong. He finds himself on the TARDIS, without the Stone.





	1. Headache

Loki wasn’t sure what was more insulting: his muzzle or the fact that he had to stand there listening to some Midgardians squabble about who’d get to put him on trial. As if they had any authority over him!  
It did hurt a bit that Thor had just silenced him instead of listening. How could he not have realized that all this invasion business had not been Loki’s idea? Maybe he should have started with saying that he was rid of the mind-control, but it would probably have fallen on deaf ears anyway. Sometimes Thor was just an oaf and the fact that Loki had greeted him with wit and humor had obviously been too subtle a hint that something had changed.  
It was probably Thor’s silly love for all things Midgardian that made him think Loki could have any interest in ruling over those ridiculous people. As if they were even worth his attention. But, alas, Thor was blinded and his loyalty seemed to belong to those Avengers now.  
Loki was distracted from his reverie by a commotion. It seemed that Stark was having an attack – but far more interesting was the case containing the tesseract that suddenly seemed to move on its own accord. It slid across the floor of the foyer, only to be picked up by a man in combat fatigues. Nobody seemed to have noticed and the fellow started walking swiftly towards the door leading to the stairwell. Before he even reached the door, it burst open, slamming into him and revealing the Hulk in all his brutal and mindless glory.  
Loki had never been one to challenge the Norns when they offered him a chance, so when the tesseract was flung from its case and landed at his feet, he didn’t hesitate but picked it up. With little more than a thought, he opened a portal and disappeared.

A kind of siren was hooting and something was making hissing noises. A formidable headache convinced Loki to keep his eyes shut. Still, he could tell that he was lying on a metal surface and all around him warning systems blared in a veritable cacophony. The last thing he remembered was opening a portal, but instead of the usual smooth transfer, it had felt as if somebody had tried to smash his head and suffocate him at the same time.  
He heard somebody’s hurried footsteps and then a high-pitched sound that seemed to pulsate in the same rhythm as his throbbing headache.  
“Hu, not human,” a male voice said. “What are you then?”  
Again, the strange noise, moving from Loki’s temple down to his hands.  
“And why are you bound? I’ve never seen that technology before…”  
Whatever it was, it changed frequency and suddenly Loki’s restraints clicked and fell off. Surprised he opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn’t. It was far too bright and everything was out of focus.  
“Easy there,” came the voice again and a hand wrapped around his arm, gently helping him sit up. A wave of dizziness hit him and he saw black spots dancing in his vision. His queasiness passed quickly, leaving behind a bad taste in his mouth. Now that he sat, the headache seemed to decide to up its ante. He cradled his head and groaned. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that next to him crouched a man in a brown pinstriped suit. He was pale, with brown, mussed hair and a strong nose. His brows were furrowed in a concerned way and he didn’t let go of Loki’s arm.  
“Headache?” the stranger asked and Loki nodded gingerly.  
Again the high-pitched sound, but this time Loki could identify it’s source: a tool that looked like a ornamented screw-driver, with a blinking light.  
“Ah, I think you’re just dehydrated.” The man reached behind him and put a mug into Loki’s hand.  
“Drink this, it will help.”  
Since the man seemed eager to help him, Loki decided to heed the advice. There had been easier ways to kill him off when he was unconscious. He raised the mug and gulped its contents down. It tasted awful, but to Loki’s surprise the pain lessened considerably.  
“Where am I?” Loki asked, looking around. He guessed he was in some sort of vessel, with strange, uneven walls the color of bronze. Cables and pipes ran along the walls that were fitted with round lamps. The room probably was some sort of command center or bridge, with a strange pillar in the middle. Something was moving up and down in it, like a pump. Around the pillar, there was a table or console, covered in a multitude of switches and monitors and strange devices. Everything looked as if it had been patched together from old parts, been worked hard and then patched up again.  
“This is the TARDIS,” the man said with pride in his voice. “And I’m the Doctor.”  
Seeing no harm in revealing his name, Loki started to say: “I’m Loki of A…,” but didn’t finish. He didn’t feel like he was of Asgard. But he had never really been of Jotunheim or Midgard either.  
“… of Nowhere,” he finished with some embarrassment.  
The Doctor smiled and patted Loki’s shoulder.  
“I know that feeling.”  
Getting up he offered Loki his hand. Since there was still a bit of a headache left and Loki at least wanted to look thankful, he took it.  
When he had straightened up, he looked around. Suddenly he realized that he couldn’t see the Tesseract anywhere. He padded his clothes, but it wasn’t hidden there, either.  
Whirling around he the confronted the other man.  
“Where is the Tesseract?” he hissed. To his chagrin he was less than an inch taller than the other man, keeping him from being able to tower threateningly.  
“The what now?” the Doctor replied, not intimidated in the least.  
“My means of transportation – a glowing blue cube,” Loki explained. “Tell me where you hid it.”  
The Doctor shook his head. “There is nothing like that here. You just appeared and collapsed. No blue cubes or anything.”  
“Take me to your Captain,” Loki ordered.  
After a moment of stunned surprise, the Doctor started laughing.  
“There’s no Captain here. Well, you could call me that, but…”  
He was interrupted by a strange noise, coming from the center console.  
“See? She has her own head,” he finished with a shrug.  
“What kind of theater is this?” Loki demanded to know. “What kind of vessel has a physician but no Captain?”  
He walked towards the closest door and yanked it open, as if he suspected the ship’s crew was hiding behind it.  
To his immense surprise, he looked out at space. The door he was holding seemed to be a rather thin wooden door. Before him the vast darkness of space lay like a velvet cushion with a blue planet like a pearl placed on it. He reeled back.  
“What game are you playing?” he yelled, slamming the door shut again.  
Behind him the Doctor leaned against a wall with an amused smile on his face.  
“Mate, this is a time-machine. I’m the Doctor, not a doctor. I guess you’re a bit out of your depth here.”  
Carefully, Loki opened the door again. He could feel the nihilistic pull of the great nothingness that is space and its absolute coldness. This was no illusion or hologram. Space was just a step away and yet he could breathe. Looking to his left and right, it seemed that the vessel was a mere 5 ft wide, which didn’t fit its inner dimensions.  
“I’m stranded with a madman in a trans-dimensional vessel that hurls through space and time?” he whispered, questioning his sanity.  
The Doctor patted his shoulder again.  
“That’s more common than you would think,” he said with a grin.


	2. Tea

Loki rose and looked imperiously at the Doctor.   
“I will commandeer your vessel,” he announced.   
The Doctor chuckled. “Nah, you won’t.”  
Loki frowned and put more authority in his voice: “I am now the Captain of this ship.”  
The Doctor shrugged. “If you like that title, it’s all yours. I don’t quite like it’s military connotations, though.”  
Loki grinded his teeth. He tried a third time, concentrating on his intent to influence the Doctor’s mind.   
“This. Is. My. Ship. Now!” he growled.   
The Doctor just looked at him with raised eyebrows.   
With a snarl, Loki tried to summon his knives, but nothing happened. He took a deep breath and concentrated on pulling on the threats of his seidr magic. It wasn’t there.   
“How did you suppress my magic?” he demanded of the Doctor.   
“Magic’s not real, you know,” the other man said. “At least right now, in this universe.”  
Stunned Loki starred at his hands. This couldn’t be happening. He looked up and looked at the Doctor suspiciously.  
“But all this,” he gestured at the TARDIS, “how is it possible?”  
“Science, my friend,” the Doctor replied. “Any sufficiently advanced form of technology is indistinguishable from magic.”  
Loki shook his head. “Just where am I?”  
With a smile, the Doctor put his hand around Loki’s shoulders and led him deeper into the TARDIS.   
“Let’s discuss this over a nice cuppa tea, yes?”

Broodingly Loki sipped his tea. It was a quite nice tea and the Doctor had even opened a box of digestives.   
“What exactly are you doing here?” he asked after a while.   
The Doctor shrugged. “Travelling, exploring, protecting Earth.”  
“Are you one of those so-called Avengers?” Loki tried not to look too alarmed, but then he had already revealed his name and that he had been using the Tesseract.  
“Never heard of them,” the Doctor shook his head, pouring himself more tea. “I’m usually not somebody who likes to join organizations. UNIT sometimes think I’m with them, but they are rather silly.”  
“You never heard of the Avengers?” Loki asked. “What about S.H.I.E.L.D.? Or Thor, God of Thunder?”  
“Doesn’t ring a bell. But Thor’s from the same mythology as you borrowed your name, right?”  
Loki jumped from his seat. “Borrowed? I AM LOKI, God of Mischief!”  
The Doctor raised an eyebrow and took a sip his tea. “I’m an atheist, myself.”  
Upon seeing Loki’s furious face, he amended: “Well, stout agnostic. I did meet a few people who claimed they were gods.”  
Loki shook his head and sank back into the couch.   
“I lost my powers, people think I’m a mythological figure and if you don’t know about the Avengers, I’m probably in a whole other universe.”  
“It does sound like it,” the Doctor agreed. “But maybe we can help you. Where did you start your journey from?”  
“New York,” Loki replied tonelessly. “Is there a New York in this universe?”  
“Sure is. Even a New New York. But let’s start with the one on Earth, shall we?”  
Loki sighed deeply. This person was far too friendly and positive. Normally he would be extremely suspicious of somebody offering his help so readily, but the Doctor had removed his chains even before he knew Loki was awake. But he didn’t seem stupid, either. His openness and refusal to show hostility to Loki’s demands was baffling. Saying he was a Defender of Earth did sound as if he had some power at his disposal and his vessel was wonderous even for Asgardian standards. He looked at the Doctor and extended his hand.  
“I accept and I thank you.”


End file.
